Saturday, September 4, 2010

Sadness Upon Sadness

Pretty Boy Pumpkin
8-24-06 to 9-4-10
As if my heart wasn't breaking already, we have lost another beautiful soul. My beautiful birdie Pumpkin. His illness came on suddenly. There was nothing we could do but make him comfortable. The vet tried. We tried. I held him in my hands this morning and talked to him softly as he passed away. My husband and I both cried. His playmates will miss him. We will miss him. I will miss him incredibly. He has been a spunky, cheerful, faithful friend. He was Tori's best friend. The flock will never be the same. But we will love them all. And we will talk of Pumpkin every day.
Maybe he is perched right now atop my mother's shoulder. Both gone within one week. My heart aches with sorrow.
We love you, Pumpkin.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Long Distance Call

Carol A. Walker 12-1-1937 to 8-27-2010
About 40 years ago my mother experienced something life-changing and profound. The loss of her mother. It left her with a heavy heart, and a lifetime of longing for the connection that was lost with her departure from this earthly plane.
Over the years Mom often remarked that she wished that there was a phone line to heaven so she could call and talk to her mother. To ask for advice, share a triumph, share a joy. Just to hear her voice.
I never truly understood how that felt...until now.
I'm lucky. I had my mother much longer than my mother had hers. She was only in her early 30's when her mother died. So we've had more time together. More experiences. More laughter. More heartache. More joy. But there is never enough time.
Over the past many months my sisters and I have been by my mother's side. We witnessed her bravery in battling disease. We witnessed her strength, her love, and her everlasting sense of humor. At the end, her ability to accept her fate amazed me.
A few weeks ago, as we discussed her final wishes, I asked her if she'd had any messages from beyond. She smiled and said "not yet".
As my sisters and our families gathered around her during her last few days we talked to her. Cared for her. Shared memories. Told her how much we loved her. Told her that we would take care of each other, and that we would be okay. It was okay for her to go.
During that time she told us that my father had called on the phone and said that "everything would be all right". Just a few days later she left this world.
So now here we are. Sad. Tired. Longing for a woman who was so kind, so caring, so warmhearted. A loving mother and grandmother, a faithful sister, aunt and friend, and a wonderful, witty, and incredible human being.
Now we are the ones wishing for that phone line to heaven. Even so, we will go on as she taught us to. We will honor her life by living ours. Looking life, to family, to friendship, to love. And to the day when we receive her call.
God bless you, Mom.